An old script I hacked up back way back when I saw Black Books: The Grapes of Wrath and remembered a letter from Daniel O'Mahony suggesting his own candidate for the Ninth Doctor... I give no guarantee to its quality...
1. RAILWAY STATION
It is late at night, somewhere in Southern England. For a moment, all is quiet and still. Then, a strange noise is heard. It grows louder, and clouds begin to swirl across the sky, faster and faster. The clouds gather, smothering the sky as lightning crackles between them. Snow begins to fall over the station as the noise reaches a crescendo. The clouds swirl further – and suddenly the spinning TARDIS bursts free and spirals down through the air, to crash-land on platform two. The noise and lightning end, but the snow continues to fall. After a moment, the Doctor staggers out. Smoke wafts from the interior.
Doctor: [coughs] Any landing you can walk away from is a good one, I suppose. [coughs] Nik? Are you all right?
Nik staggers from the TARDIS, pulling the door closed.
Nik: [coughs] Better than your parking? I told you to make sure you programmed in the axial tilt!
Doctor: Oh, whine, whine, whine!
Nik: And the diurnal rotation! And the orbital parabola!
Doctor: Yes, yes, ‘one day you’ll land us in the sea’!
Nik: ‘Only if I want to swim!’ Honestly!
Doctor: Oh, come on. Let’s see where we are?
Nik: Earth again. Probably twentieth century. Can we go, now?
The Doctor moves towards the main entrance.
Doctor: No. We’ll let the old girl cool down before we try again. Besides, you can’t go round the universe, convinced you know where you are. Sooner or later, you’ll be wrong, and then where will you be?
Nik: Devastated, I suppose.
Doctor: No, WHERE will you be? You won’t know, will you? Come on.
Nik: [rubs arm] But it’s so cold out here?
Doctor: Ah, you’ll live. The youth of today, no moral fibre!
2. STREET
The snow is getting worse. The Doctor and Nik emerge from the station.
Nik: Where is everyone?
Doctor: Indoors, probably. There’s a storm coming. Besides, it’s quite late, according to that clock over there. [indicates] Still, there should be a pub open or something. Come on.
Nik: [teeth chatters] Are you sure about it?
Doctor: No, I’m never sure. Now come on!
3. SPACE
A bright green speck of light appears in the depths of space, growing larger and closer. It is heading for Earth.
4. STREET
The trees and ground are now smothered in snow. The Doctor and Nik walk down the road. Nik now wears the Doctor’s jacket, not that the latter notices the weather.
Doctor: ...now, you see, Strobilus was a compulsive liar about things like that, so it was obvious to Captain Yates about what to do. He dropped his gun, raised his hands, and then dear old Liz walked in. As you can imagine, the whole thing went to hell after that...
A strange roar, like static, can now be heard.
Nik: Doctor?
Doctor: Did I ever tell you about Liz? Not a patch on Sarah Jane...
Nik: Doctor?
Doctor: Yes, what is it, Paddywack?
Nik: That noise?
Doctor: What noise?
The roar gets louder and louder.
Nik: THAT noise.
Doctor: Well, what about it?
Nik: What is it?
Doctor: Oh, how should I know? Probably a train heading for the station or something. You learn to get use to it when you’re on a planet as noisy as this...
A sickly green glow is cast over the street, getting stronger and brighter as the noise increases.
Doctor: Ah.
Nik: What the hell is that?
Doctor: Something nasty – this way coming! Get down!
They dive for cover as a circular green glow pierces the thick storm clouds above them. Then, an enormous fireball – the source of the sickly green glow – rips through and hurtles over their heads. It flies past them, skimming over trees and houses. It is sparking, allowing green flame to cascade over the ground it passes.
5. CHURCH
Edmond, a middle-aged vicar, is getting ready to leave the deserted church. Then, the green glow fills the room and the static-like roar is heard. He looks up in shock.
6. CHURCHYARD
The green fireball fills the sky as it hurtles towards the church.
7. RECTORY
A middle-aged woman runs to the window as the noise and light increase.
Agnes: Saints preserve us...
8. CHURCHYARD
The fireball clips the church spire, tearing through it and hurtling towards the vicarage. Edmond runs from the church.
Edmond: AGNES!
The fireball strikes the vicarage and the building explodes spectacularly, leaving shattered rubble burning with eerie green fire. The shock wave floors Edmond, who stares at the green inferno, aghast.
Edmond: [sotto] Agnes?
9. STREET
The roar of the explosion settles to a sinister background buzz. The Doctor leaps to his feet as a cascade of burning green liquid splashes onto the road, debris from the fireball.
Doctor: Ach! Pastel colours! Gah!
He helps the dazed Nik to his feet. More liquid strikes the ground and there is a fantastic explosion. The Doctor and Nik are thrown to the ground again and, in the distance, there are more explosions.
10. CHURCHYARD
Screams and howls can be heard as chaos reigns. Edmond stumbles across the yard towards the blazing vicarage, when some more debris combust, throwing him against a headstone. He cries out.
11. STREET
The Doctor moves into view, waving away some choking white mist. It clears to show some thin metallic residue on the ground. He bends down to examine them. Nik joins him.
Nik: [wheezes] Is it safe to touch them?
Doctor: No idea. But the reaction seems to have died off.
The Doctor produces a car aerial and prods the residue.
Doctor: That stuff wasn’t liquid – it was shavings from some kind of bulkhead. That fireball was a spacecraft or something. Probably out of control.
He picks up some of the powder and sniffs it.
Doctor: Varinium? It is! Pure Varinium...
Nik: [points] Doctor, look!
The Doctor looks up. A coiling surge of white smoke pours from the hulk of the church – damaged and lit by a green glow.
Doctor: That thing has crashed, all right.
Nik: And that residue has probably wiped out half the local population! Even the screams have stopped...
Doctor: Don’t be gruesome. Come on, let’s head to that church. See if they’re any survivors. We can use what’s left of that spire to check on the town. It might not be that bad. Come on...
They run down the road.
12. CHURCHYARD
The dazed vicar staggers to his feet. Blood trickles down his face.
Edmond: Agnes? Agnes! I’m coming for you!
He staggers drunkenly towards the burning building.
Edmond: The Devil can’t stop me now, Agnes! I won’t give in!
The vicar staggers and then all but collapses. He peers myopically up at the broiling white smoke and green light. The static roar begins to pulse, getting louder and louder.
Edmond: [groggy] As I walk in the shadow of the valley of death...
The Doctor and Nik enter the yard, see the situation and run over to the stricken Edmond. They help him into a sitting position.
Doctor: Easy, easy now.
Nik: He’s had a nasty bang on his head.
Doctor: He’s luckier than the others.
Edmond blinks himself awake. Immediately, he struggles out of their grip and tries to stand up. Nik supports him.
Nik: Careful, mister.
Edmond: Agnes? Agnes, where are you?
Doctor: I’m the Doctor, that’s Nik. Who’s Agnes?
Edmond: My... my wife. She’s in the vicarage, I’ve got to save her!
He pushes them aside and runs down the hill towards the inferno. The Doctor grabs him and drags him back effortlessly.
Doctor: No, there’s been enough death already.
Edmond: No! Agnes! I can’t let the Devil get to her! I can’t!
Nik: Vicar, there’s no way she can have survived that explosion. Is there, Doctor?
Doctor: Nothing human, no.
Edmond: It is the Devil! He’s fighting us! We must have faith!
He tears free and runs down to the edge of the flames. Shapes begin to move within as the pulsing static begins to get louder and louder.
Edmond: Agnes? Is that you? Agnes!
A line of silver shapes emerges from the billowing flames.
Nik: What are they, Doctor?
Doctor: Nothing human, I fancy.
The silver shapes of the Daleks emerge, undamaged, from the writhing flames. They begin to glide up the hillside, guns unfolding. The Dalek Leader leads the advance. Edmond stares at them, awed.
Edmond: Satan and his demons...
The Dalek Leader fires twice – a blue glow slams the vicar against a gravestone. His blasted body collapses to the ground. The Daleks silently turn to face the Doctor and Nik.
Doctor: Get down!
Another salvo flies past them, triggering more explosions. The Doctor gets back up and runs for the church. Nik follows. The Daleks fire at them, destroying more parts of the churchyard. They continue to glide up the hill after their prey.
13. CHURCH
The Doctor and Nik slam the doors closed and begin to pile furniture over the door. The background static noise steadily gets louder.
Nik: Those things – they just killed him without blinking!
Doctor: And they’ll do the same to us if they catch us.
The Doctor turns around – and we see a shattered hulk looming out of the darkness, clearly a Dalek. They start, but the machine is inactive.
Doctor: Don’t panic, it’s quite dead.
Nik: How did that get in here?
Doctor: The hole in the roof. When the fireball struck, it must have been ripped apart. This hunk of metal crashed in here... The roof! Of course! We can get out through there!
Nik: You have got to be kidding me!
Doctor: Oh, I’m distinctly serious, Czar Nicholas! Now, unless you want to face our homicidal metal friends out there, you might as well try and help me out of –
There is the sound of the Dalek Leader firing again and the barricade is blown apart. Smoke wafts through the gap and the Daleks begin to emerge. The Doctor and Nik run for the various exits, but Daleks enter via these, blocking them at every turn. They are trapped.
Dalek: STOP! DO NOT MOVE OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!
The Dalek Leader glides forward. The other Daleks close in, forcing the time travelers to shuffle forward towards the Dalek Leader.
Dalek: ARE YOU THE DOCTOR? ARE YOU THE ENEMY OF THE DALEKS?
Doctor: Yes. That’s me. What, do you want an autograph?
Dalek: WE KNOW YOU. WE HAVE TRACKED YOUR TARDIS THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE. WE OBSERVED YOUR LANDING IN THIS SPACE-TIME LOCATION AND BEGAN OUR INVASION.
Nik: Why?
Dalek: IT IS NECESSARY FOR YOU TO WITNESS THE DESTRUCTION OF THE PLANET EARTH AND ALL OF ITS INHABITANTS. ONCE THIS PLANET HAS BEEN DESTROYED IN THE HOLOCAUST, YOU WILL PROVIDE A NEW LIFE FOR US.
Doctor: No chance! Why, you haven’t even said ‘please’, yet!
Dalek: YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
Nik: Earth has been attacked more times than you can count! Mankind has fought off everyone else – why should you win when the Bandrils, the Cybermen, the Yeti, the Ice Warriors couldn’t?
Dalek: WHEN DAWN COMES TOMORROW, THIS PLANET SHALL BE RID OF ALL INFERIOR ORGANIC MATTER. WE SHALL BE THE NEW MASTERS OF EARTH.
Another static-like howl is heard. The Doctor and Nik look up. Through the gaping hole in the roof, the sky is steadily blocked out by the underside of a vast ship, seemingly made of emerald light.
Nik: Ah.
Doctor: Yes, I think that about sums it up.
Dalek: PREPARE FOR TRANSFERENCE!
14. CHURCHYARD
The gigantic ship hangs over the church. Already, similar ships are appearing in the sky and hurtling towards the ground. Suddenly, a beam of light snaps on, shining down through the hole in the church roof.
15. CHURCH
The eerie glow surrounds the Doctor, Nik and the Drones.
Nik: Um, how are we going to get out of this one, Doctor?
Doctor: Oh, I’ll think of something.
Dalek: TRANSFER NOW!
Doctor: If we’re lucky.
The glow intensifies and the group dissolve like smoke.
16. CHURCHYARD
The beam snaps off.
17. CHURCH
The eerie glow fades to leave the wrecked Dalek alone and silent.
18. CHURCHYARD
The ship turns and flies up off into the night, as thousands upon thousands of ships sweep through the sky.
To be continued...
...yeah, right...
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