The familiar trio sit on the sofa, pausing the VCR.
NIGEL: That's it? That's the big differences that prove he's a better writer? Pull the other one!
DAVE: Come on, Nige, it's only the first few minutes.
NIGEL: I am perfectly capable of judging anything after the first few minutes, Dave, and if you shared my gift, your UAI wouldn't have been so appallingly low. Is this really an improvement?
NIGEL: Oh, shut up, Andrew, what do you know!
ANDREW: Well, look at the beginning. A bunch of workers get assassinated. Nice, shocking and brutal.
NIGEL: And exactly the same as the original.
DAVE: Nah, the original had those alien prisoners. Who were locked in the warehouse because, er, actually we never do find out why they were trapped there. Or even who they were. Or why they got shot down if they were so damn valuable. Plus this gets rid of the Stein subplot.
NIGEL: And just what was wrong with the Stein subplot, Restal?
ANDREW: How long a list would you like? No, this is very good. What's more, I like how the builders were ordinary 1980s joes and so their deaths cut home a lot more. And scenes are establishing drama instead of cutting back and forth.
NIGEL: That's a directorial touch and you know it.
DAVE: It fleshed out the prison crew. We found out their names.
NIGEL: We already knew their names, Dave! It's not necessary to rewrite four episodes of televisual brilliance just because the author wasn't paying attention.
ANDREW: Nor was anyone else who has ever reviewed this story. Have you visited the Doctor Who Ratings Guide lately?
NIGEL: Hell no. A) I am not a geek. And B) Ron Mallet lurks there.
DAVE: Ew. Good point.
NIGEL: The best.
ANDREW: Yeah. Still, it cleared up all the names and the motives and just what happened to the security officers. And the TARDIS gets out of the corridor right away instead of bouncing around off screen for the best part of the episode. Let's face it, this story actually cares about the characters.
NIGEL: Yeah, guess so. But so far I could have got the same result with editing software.
DAVE: You sound suspiciously knowledgable about this, Nige.
NIGEL: Oh, never mind, Dave, let's change the topic.
DAVE: What topic?
ANDREW: Are you ever going to put it up on youtube?
NIGEL: Hahaah, what a joker you are, Andrew. Let us move on.
DAVE: Put what up on youtube?
NIGEL: Shut up, the pair of you!
ANDREW: "Styles And Her Jailbait Assistant Get It On In Hardcore Girl On Girl XXX Action"...
ANDREW: Got to admit, they did seem a bit close...
NIGEL: Shut up, the next bit's on!
Eve enters, reading a copy of MX.
EVE: Is David Tennant in this one?
DAVE: Nah, it's the dad from At Home With the Braithwaites.
ANDREW: Which, coincidentally, is another one Nigel put up on youtube...
NIGEL: We're not interested in that, Andrew.
EVE: Oh yeah, Ashley wants a copy of it.
EVE: "Virginia and Tamsin Braithwaite Get It On In Hardcore Girl On Girl XXX Action With Bollywood Soundtrack."
NIGEL: I notice they named one of the builders Jerry, after that really unlucky cameraman in Drop the Dead Donkey.
DAVE: Nigel, I seriously think you have a bit too much time on your hands.